Last week, we asked you to send through your best duck puns and jokes to go in the draw to win a brand new Flinders face mask. We received over 50 jokes and puns, all of which fit the bill perfectly. Thank you to everyone who sent in entries – puns on duck tape and jokes about butt quacks were quite popular.

Congratulations to Sophie Rapagna, Natalie Foreman, Sarah Hibberd, Louisa Santucci and Toni Slotnes-O’Brien who’s submissions had us all quacking up! If you’re after some cheering up, check out their jokes below.

Alison Teare, from the College of Medicine & Public Health, has also won herself a mask for going above and beyond with her entry – she sent through an adorable video of some orphaned ducklings that she is currently caring for. Alison also made the very clever observation that the ducklings spend their days running around, having a good time and making a bit of a mess, much like first year students!

Sophie Rapagna

I can’t take my dog to the park anymore because the ducks keep biting him. I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog

Natalie Foreman 

What was the goal of the detective duck?

To quack the case

Sarah Hibberd

What type of degree is the Flinders Duck undertaking?

A Ducktorate Degree!

Will these Flinders Duck jokes make you smile?

My pre-duck-tion is you will quack up!! 😝

Louisa Santucci

Why did the duck go to the chiropractor?

To get it’s back quacked

Toni Slotnes-O’Brien

Duck walks into a bar…

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich.

The barman looks at him and says, “hang on! You’re a duck.”

“I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck.

“And you can talk!” exclaims the barman.

“I see your ears are working, too,” says the Duck.  “Now if you don’t mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?”

“Certainly, sorry about that” says the barman as he pulls the duck’s pint.  “It ‘s just we don’t get many ducks in this pub.. What are you doing round this way?”

“I’m working on the building site across the road,” explains the duck.  “I’m a plasterer.”

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it.

So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves.

The same thing happens for two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town.

The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him “you’re with the circus, aren’t you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the newspaper and everything!”

“Sounds marvelous,” says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. “Get him to give me a call.”

So the next day when the Duck comes into the pub the barman says, “hey Mr. Duck, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”

“I’m always looking for the next job,” says the duck.  “Where is it?”

“At the circus,” says the barman.

“The circus?” repeats the duck.

“That’s right,” replies the barman.

“The circus?” the duck asks again. “With the big tent?”

“Yeah,” the barman replies.

“With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?” says the duck.

“Of course,” the barman replies.

“And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?” persists the duck.

“That’s right!” says the barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says ..

“What the h*ck would they want with a plasterer??!”