Were you looking for a way to feel more satisfied with your work without constantly feeling like it’s not good enough? Lily, a psychology student on placement with BetterU tackles this exact question with a deep dive on perfectionism.
Key takeaways 🤔
- Perfectionism isn’t just high standards — it often means never feeling “good enough.”
- It shrinks satisfaction — achievements feel smaller, mistakes feel bigger.
- It can harm wellbeing, driving stress, anxiety, and burnout.
- “Good enough” supports progress — helping you finish, learn, and move forward.
- Small mindset shifts matter — notice self-criticism, set realistic standards, and allow completion.
Hi, I’m Lily, a student on placement with BetterU. In this article, I wanted to explore something many students experience but don’t always talk about the pressure to be perfect, and the feeling that whatever we do, it still doesn’t feel like enough. Specifically, I wanted to explore how perfectionism can impact mental health, self-worth, and wellbeing, and why aiming for “good enough” might be healthier than constantly chasing perfection. Furthermore, this article reflects my developing understanding of perfectionism as both a psychological construct and a lived experience, rather than simply a personality trait, drawing on both research and personal reflection.
As a perfectionist myself, this is something I have personally struggled with. I realised that even when I achieve good results, I often focused more on what I could have done better rather than allowing myself to feel satisfied with what I had achieved. Over time, I started noticing how exhausting this mindset had become and that I was obsessing on being perfect in specific areas of my life, while neglecting others such as pleasure and relationships. I found it hard to dial back my obsessions and I learnt that being “good enough” in a variety of areas helped me to nurture other important life domains. This shift also highlighted how perfectionism can quietly narrow the scope of what we prioritise in life.
A feeling you might recognise
You finish something you’ve been working on. An assignment, a task, or even something small. It’s done. It meets the requirements. It might even be good.
But instead of feeling relieved, your mind doesn’t switch off. You reread it. You pick out small flaws. You think about what you could have done better. And before you acknowledge the effort it took, the feeling creeps in that “it’s not good enough”
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
For many students, this shows up around assignments, grades, or even small tasks such as discussion posts. The pressure to “get it right” can feel bigger than the task itself. Over time, this pressure can stop students from feeling satisfied with anything they achieve.
What makes it harder is that from the outside, everything looks fine, such as completed tasks, good grades, healthy eating, training hard, functioning performance, while internally, the sense of “enough” never quite arrives.
To better understand how perfectionism affects students, I spoke informally with several students about their experiences and noticed many similar themes around pressure, self-criticism and never feeling “good enough.” One student I spoke to explained that “I spend more time worrying about whether something is perfect than actually enjoying what I am learning.” Another student shared that even after receiving good grades, they still focused on tiny mistakes instead of what they had achieved. These reflections represent common themes from informal peer conversations rather than formal research interviews and are used here to illustrate lived experience.
Perfectionism isn’t just about high standards
Perfectionism is often seen as a positive trait. Something that helps people succeed. But in psychology, it is understood as more than just wanting to do well.
It involves setting very high standards or even impossible goals and then being overly self-critical when those standards aren’t met. Importantly, contemporary research distinguishes between adaptive perfectionism (striving for excellence) and maladaptive perfectionism (where self-worth depends on flawless performance) (Overholser & Dimaggio, 2020). This distinction matters because perfectionism rarely feels like “too much” at the beginning, as it often begins as motivation, structure, or ambition.
This often means people struggle to celebrate what they have achieved and instead focus on what they have not done or what still feels “not good enough.”
For students, this can show up as:
– Being overly self-critical
– Focusing more on what went wrong than what went well
– Struggling to feel satisfied with completed work
– Constantly feeling like you could have done more
Over time, this mindset can make it difficult to recognise your own effort, progress or achievements.
Perfectionism is different from simply wanting to achieve or do well. Research suggests that striving for excellence is not harmful, but perfectionism becomes harmful when self-worth depends on meeting impossible standards (Perfas, 2025).
The quiet shift you don’t notice happening
One of the more challenging parts of perfectionism is how it shapes the way we evaluate ourselves.
Instead of recognizing effort or improvement or seeing things as “good enough”, the focus often shifts to what could be better. Small mistakes can feel bigger, and successes can feel smaller.
Many students describe this as a constant feeling of falling short:
“Even when I do well, I feel like I could’ve done better”
“I focus on what’s wrong than what’s right”
“I can’t finish something because I’m already thinking about what’s wrong with it”
This creates a pattern where:
– Effort doesn’t feel rewarding
– Achievements feel temporary
– Self-criticism becomes automatic
Instead of feeling proud or relieved, it can feel like the pressure simply resets. This is supported by a student who reflected that “it feels like the goalposts keep moving. Even when I achieve something, I don’t let myself enjoy it before thinking about the next thing I need to do better.”
In my experience, I noticed that perfectionism shows up most commonly when I have a big event or assignment to do. Once I complete it, I instantly begin reflecting on what I could have done better or differently. Instead of acknowledging what I had done, and the effort that I put in, my attention shifted straight to the next event or task that I thought I need to improve for to be perfect in.
It almost feels like the “completion” moment is missing, as if finishing something doesn’t close it emotionally.
When your self-worth becomes tied to achievement
One thing that I observed consistently throughout my research was how perfectionism could quite quickly become intertwined with an individual’s sense of identity and self-worth.
For many students, academic success becomes not just about studying, but their primary measurement of “success” in general. Due to an extreme reliance on a single area of achievement, such as grades, productivity, physical attractiveness, and achievements, any setback can become amplified and deeply personal. If you fail an exam, miss a deadline, or make even a single mistake, it may not feel like just one difficult moment, but instead like personal failure.
Furthermore, perfectionism might lead you to become very focused on one part of your life, at the cost of everything else. For instance, once an individual goes “all in” on an achievement, other aspects such as leisure activities, relationships, rest, imagination, or pleasure can be sidelined.
This narrowing of identity reduces psychological buffering, meaning there are fewer alternative sources of self-worth available when one area feels under threat (Pilarska & Suchanska, 2014). In other words, when everything meaningful gets compressed into one domain, that domain starts to carry emotional weight it was never meant to hold. Consequently, it may become more difficult to break free from perfectionist thoughts since they have limited alternative sources of self-confidence, meaning, and balance.
On a personal level, I believe that this is an issue that university students encounter without even realizing it. At times when you are stressed, it feels as if productivity is the only thing that defines you.
The cost of perfectionism on your mental health
Perfectionism doesn’t just affect performance or productivity; it can also affect emotional wellbeing and mental health.
Research has linked perfectionism with higher levels of stress, anxiety and emotional distress (Simon et al., 2025). When people feel constant pressure to meet extremely high expectations, it can become mentally exhausting.
Students often describe:
– Feeling constantly on edge about performance
– Struggling to switch off or relax
– Feeling like their self-worth depends on how well they do
– Being harder on themselves than they should be on anyone else
As one student shared:
“I’d never expect this much from someone else, but I expect it from myself”
When your self-worth depends on meeting high standards, everyday tasks can feel high-pressure, which can lead to relentless worry, overthinking, and fear of getting things wrong.
Many students believe that being hard on themselves will help them stay motivated and push them to succeed, but over time, constant self-criticism can become emotionally exhausting and increase feelings of anxiety, stress, and burnout (Wong et al., 2025).
Personally, I think this is something many students struggle with. University culture can sometimes make continual stress, pressure, and overworking feel normal or even expected. However, feeling overwhelmed all the time should not be treated as a requirement for success.
From previous experiences, I find that the more pressure that I applied to myself, the more difficult it became to appreciate and enjoy the things I am doing or experiencing.
The link of perfectionism with body image and eating habits
Interestingly, perfectionism also does not just stay within academics or productivity; it can extend into the way people see themselves, their bodies, and their relationship with food.
Research suggests that perfectionistic thinking can influence the way people relate to food, appearance, and body image, particularly when self-worth becomes tied to control or unrealistic expectations (Wade & Tiggemann., 2013). What makes this difficult is that perfectionism is often admired or overlooked because it can appear as motivation or ambition, even when it is causing significant stress underneath.
According to Professor Tracey Wade in a podcast (Butterfly Foundation, 2023), many people who experience eating disorders also describe themselves as perfectionists. This highlights that perfectionism is not situational, it is a thinking style that can move across different areas of life.
For example, thoughts like “I need to look a certain way” or “I need to control what I eat perfectly” can reflect the same perfectionistic patterns seen in study or work. This can create a cycle of unrealistic expectations, self-criticism, and pressure, that negatively impacts both mental health and wellbeing.
While not everyone who experiences perfectionism will develop these difficulties, it highlights how powerful and far-reaching this pattern of thinking can be.
The turning point: what ‘good enough’ actually feels like
At first, aiming for “good enough” can feel like lowering your standards. However, it is often more about changing your relationship with yourself and your work, rather than caring less about it.
A “good enough” mindset allows space to:
– Recognise effort, not just outcomes
– Accept that mistakes are a part of learning
– Feel a sense of completion
– Reduce constant self-criticism
Instead of asking “is this perfect?”, the question becomes:
“Is this enough for what it needs to be and have I engaged with it meaningfully?”
Importantly, research states that striving for excellence is not harmful, but perfectionism is (Reynolds, 2021). The difference is whether you are motivated by growth and learning or driven by fear of failure and not feeling good enough.
This shift doesn’t mean you stop trying, it means you stop moving the goalposts every time you get close.
Learning to soften the voice in your head
Changing perfectionistic thinking takes time, but small shifts can make a difference.
Some approaches that students find useful include:
– Noticing self-critical thoughts rather than immediately believing them
– Acknowledging what went well, not just what could improve
– Setting realistic expectations depending on the situation
– Allowing things to be finished, rather than endlessly redoing them.
– Speaking to yourself as you would to a friend
These shifts are often less about doing everything differently, and more about learning to relate to yourself with less pressure and criticism.
Reducing perfectionism can feel easier with support, whether that involves talking to someone, hearing others’ perspectives, or learning strategies from evidence-based resources.
One of the strongest things I realized while researching this topic was that self-compassion is not the same as “giving up.” In fact, constantly criticising yourself often makes it harder to perform well because it increases stress and fear of failure (Gomez-Lopez et al., 2025).
For a very long time, I thought that being hard on myself is what made me do my best and what kept me motivated. The fear of becoming “too easy” on myself and lazy made me think that I’d get complacent, stop improving as a person and not achieve anything. However, I gradually learned that constantly criticizing myself does not make me work any harder, it simply makes me feel worse about myself.
Small shifts that can help
Perfectionism doesn’t change overnight, but small, realistic shifts can make a difference, especially during busy university periods.
1. Set a “good enough” standard before you start
Decide what the task requires, rather than aiming for perfection
2. Notice how you speak to yourself
If your self-talk is harsh or critical, ask yourself “would I say this to a friend?”
3. Allow things to be finished
Not everything needs to be rechecked or improved endlessly. Finishing is an achievement.
4. Focus on effort, not just outcome
Ask yourself, “Did I try?” or “Did I learn something?” Rather than “was it perfect?”
5. Take breaks without guilt
Constant pressure can lead to burnout. Rest is not something that needs to be “earned”, it is an important part of maintaining wellbeing and focus.
6. Remind yourself that “good enough” is still valuable
Progress, consistency, and balance are often more sustainable than perfection.
From experience, I discovered that setting time limits for assignments helped reduce overthinking because it stopped me from endlessly editing small details that did not actually improve the work.
Another factor that helped me deal with the pressure of wanting to be perfect and perform well academically was the development of interests outside of university. When you become so immersed in studying, it can become what defines your worth, and as a result most of your time is spent focused on academics.
Spending time doing things to relax such as seeing friends, exercising, and taking breaks made it easier to see that my worth was not completely dependent on productivity or grades.
Rethinking what “doing well” means
Many students begin to equate doing well with being perfect.
But in reality, doing well often includes effort, learning, and gradual improvement. When perfection becomes the standard, everything else can feel like failure.
Shifting towards “good enough” allows space for:
– Progress over time
– Learning through mistakes
– A more balanced and sustainable approach to study
Many students tie their self-worth to productivity, grades, or achievements, but success should not come at the cost of your mental health.
Final Reflection
You might already recognize this pattern.
Think about the last time you completed something.
Did you focus more on what went well or what could have been better?
This small shift in attention can reveal how perfectionism shapes the way we see ourselves.
Perfectionism can feel motivating at first, but over time it often comes at a cost. It can make it harder to feel satisfied, settled, or even proud of what you have achieved.
“Good enough” is not about lowering your standards. It is about giving yourself permission to finish something, recognise your effort, and move forward without carrying constant pressure with you.
Because at some point, the goal is not to do everything perfectly.
It is to be able to say, “I did my best, and that’s enough.”
So maybe the question isn’t “is this perfect?”
Maybe it is “Is this already enough?”
References
Foundation, B. (n.d.). In Depth on Perfectionism with Prof. Tracey Wade [Recorded by T. Wade].
Gomez-Lopez, M., Sanchez, D., Borrego, C., & Hernandez, J. (2025). Perfectionism and fear of failure, according to sporting experience. Frontiers in Psychology.
Overholser, J., & Dimaggio, C. (2020). Struggling with perfectionism: When good enough is not good enough. Journal of Clinical Psychology , 2019-2027.
Perfas, S. (2025). The perils of perfectionism. The Harvard Gazette.
Pilarska, A., & Suchanska, A. (2014). Self-Complexity and Self-Concept Differentiation – What Have We Been Measuring for the Past 30 Years? . Current Psychology , 723-743.
Reynolds, E. (2021). Striving for perfection, rather than excellence, can kill creativity. The British Psychological Society.
Simon, P., Salanga, M., & Aruta, J. (2025). The distinct link of perfectionism with positive and negative mental health outcomes. Frontiers in Psychology.
Wade, T., & Tiggemann, M. (2013). The role of perfectionism in body dissatisfaction. Journal of Eating Disorders.
Wong, M., Fung, H., Wong, J., & Lam, S. (2025). Exploring the longitudinal dynamics of self-criticism, self-compassion, psychological flexibility, and mental health in a three-wave study. Scientific Reports.