{"id":521,"date":"2020-06-03T09:40:42","date_gmt":"2020-06-03T00:10:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/?p=521"},"modified":"2020-07-22T11:00:04","modified_gmt":"2020-07-22T01:30:04","slug":"juggling-study-and-caring-duties-like-a-boss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/2020\/06\/03\/juggling-study-and-caring-duties-like-a-boss\/","title":{"rendered":"Juggling Study and Caring Duties \u2026 Like a Boss"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hi Flinders fam. Guess what? It\u2019s our last Like a Boss episode for the series! We\u2019ve just about made it through the semester \u2013 amazing work everyone.<\/p>\n<p>In our last topic, we\u2019re going to talk about how to do the juggle. There\u2019s more of you juggling study with children, grandchildren, full-time or part-time work, running small businesses, volunteering or caring for others than you might think. In fact, Flinders has a huge cohort of mature age students from a huge range of diverse backgrounds \u2013 the largest in the state.<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"Like A Boss S1EP10 -  Juggling\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/z7ZarocLJmI?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" referrerpolicy=\"strict-origin-when-cross-origin\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>In fact, the average Flinders student is mature-aged, female, and likely doing the juggle. However, it might not feel like this is the case.<\/p>\n<p>Many of you face really unique issues, most of them far more complex than we can address in this video. But the main thing I want you to know is that Flinders sees you, you\u2019re not alone, and supports do exist. Oasis are hosting an online <a href=\"https:\/\/oasis.flinders.edu.au\/take-a-break-sessions-with-chaplain-deb-on-tuesdays-2-3\/\">Take a Break Conversation Group<\/a> on Tuesdays and FUSA are planning a mature-age student collective for semester two. They\u2019re going to have a forum to discover what you guys want out of it, so keep an eye out for that!<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-522\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss111-300x209.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"209\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss111-300x209.png 300w, https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss111.png 555w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The complexity of the juggle also means that there\u2019s no quick fix to many of the issues that come up and I\u2019m not going to pretend like I can present you with solutions to problems that \u2013 to be honest \u2013 I don\u2019t have much experience with. So instead, in this episode, it\u2019s over to you guys. Here are tips for juggling study with other responsibilities from those who are doing the juggle.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019d like to introduce you to Mousumi, Ali, Ros and Sideth \u2013 a mix of parents, grandparents, small-business owners, PhD students, and carers of those with complex needs, who each have their own version of the juggle. I hope their experiences can help those of you who are managing the juggle!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Mousumi Rakhi<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Acknowledge the Difficulties<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hello everyone, my name is Mousumi Rakhu and I\u2019m from Bangladesh. I am studying a Masters of Public Administration and Policy here at Flinders. I have two school-going kids, so you can understand my home situation! My home is always noisy, most of the time it is messy, it is not clean at all. I have to spend a lot of time cleaning but still it\u2019s not clean!<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-523\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss222-300x192.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"192\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss222-300x192.png 300w, https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss222.png 603w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Right now, the biggest challenge that I\u2019m facing is definitely online classes because I\u2019m not used to attending them. It was really difficult at the beginning because the situation was so critical. Like others, I was stressed about the situation, about the safety of my family and myself and, at the same time, my classes went online for the first time. I missed the face to face environment of the class. It was new. Everything was different.<\/p>\n<p>At the same time, my kids were staying at home because I didn\u2019t send them to school for a long time. They are always making noise, fighting with each other, and they were bored. They wanted to go to school, they wanted to go outside to play with other kids. So, it was really difficult for them also.<\/p>\n<p>My younger one, sometimes she\u2019s stubborn. Without any reason she starts crying, she starts shouting, and we can\u2019t manage her. She doesn\u2019t want to have breakfast, to go to the toilet, brush her teeth or clean herself.<\/p>\n<p>At the time, it feels like, oh my God, I can\u2019t do all this. I can\u2019t manage my kids; I can\u2019t send them to school. I\u2019m the most awful person in the world, I\u2019m the worst mother. It\u2019s a really difficult situation I think that only mums can understand!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Be Flexible and Try to Keep Kids Engaged <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It is not always possible to follow any routine or work according to a plan. What I try to do is keep my kids engaged in some activities. English is not our first language, so I ask them to watch English kids\u2019 movies so they can develop their communication skills.<\/p>\n<p>Also, sometimes I ask them to help me in my work, like to clean the house or help me in the kitchen. Sometimes I ask them to help their father while cleaning the car. I do so because I want them to develop a sense of duty or responsibility that will help them in the future.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ali Onody <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hi I\u2019m Ali, I\u2019m a PhD student at Flinders University in the College of Psychology, Education and Social Work. I\u2019m also the mum of two small children, a seven-year-old and a four-year-old, and I support my partner who works in a senior management position in quite a large company. We live about an hour away from campus. We\u2019re also a family who live with autism. My partner is on the spectrum and my seven-year-old is also on the spectrum. So, the role I play in my family is sometimes the role of a carer.<\/p>\n<p>I also have my own stuff going on. I have auto-immune disease and that changes the way I feel or function on most days which can also make things really hard sometimes. So my life is very full, it\u2019s very colourful. It\u2019s also really busy!<\/p>\n<p>It can make being a student and meeting my student commitments and the expectations I set for myself really difficult.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-524\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss333-300x179.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"179\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss333-300x179.png 300w, https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss333.png 580w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Know what you can and can\u2019t control<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Covid has been a challenge for the whole world, but it\u2019s certainly been a challenge for our family. Living with autism, that change in rhythm and routine really derailed us for a little while there. Particularly for my daughter, transitioning her from school to home-schooling was really hard for her. She was distressed for quite some time: her anxiety was much worse; she was doing lots of compulsive behaviours, washing her hands so much she got sores on her hands; she wasn\u2019t sleeping. And as her mum, that was really stressful for me too. I was also trying to study and home-school, my partner was working from home and everybody was home! There just weren\u2019t enough hours in the day. I wasn\u2019t able to do what I needed to do, but I also didn\u2019t feel like I was able to be there for my family \u2013 for my children \u2013 in the way that they needed me to be.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m currently on a three-month intermission so I could have a bit of breathing room to do what I need to do. When I sent the application for the intermission in, I cried. I was really upset. It really did feel like a failure: I couldn\u2019t do it. But of course, it wasn\u2019t. On reflection now, I see that it has nothing to do with my capabilities. It wasn\u2019t that I wasn\u2019t smart enough or anything like that, I was just doing too much. In reality, the break was exactly what I needed and, in fact, it\u2019s given me the opportunity to sit back and look at how I\u2019m going to go forward and this use unplanned opportunity to recalibrate.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve been a student for quite some time now, and if I look back on my journey there\u2019s a few things that always seem to be the things that get me over and through those moments:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Be flexible<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Being flexible and being prepared to change the plan and move with the challenges is really important. There\u2019s no two years or two weeks that look the same so I can\u2019t take the same approach every week, every year, every day. It just doesn\u2019t work like that.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Ask for help when you need it<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s important to ask for help when you need it, even if that means you need to take a break when no matter which way you slice it it\u2019s just not possible to do what you need to do without cloning yourself.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Support networks and connections<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If I think about the times when things have worked really well for me, it\u2019s when I have really good support networks in place. My parents are really helpful for me, my partner is really supportive and helpful. Especially those connections with your peers and the faculty at uni, they help give me that sense of belonging so when I don\u2019t feel like I belong and it\u2019s hard and I\u2019m attributing things to myself that I really shouldn\u2019t be. That brings me back, connecting with my friends and feeling like I do belong here.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t overcommit<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I have to check myself on this all the time! There\u2019s only so many balls you can juggle, so making sure that is manageable, cutting out the noise and saying no to things when it just gets too much.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Care for yourself<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>This is something that I also have to check myself on constantly, but I know that when I\u2019m healthy and well-rested is when I function best. Eating well, sleeping well and also taking medication and the vitamins that I need to take.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Celebrate the successes<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It gives you something to reflect on in those really difficult times if you can remember how it feels to succeed. Celebrate everything and anything that you can! From handing in an assignment to graduation, holding in a proposal draft to doing a presentation. Celebrate everything!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Find what works for you<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>It can be hard, sometimes it might seem impossible, but you can do it in the way that works for you. I think that\u2019s really important. The way that works for you is the way that works for you.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Sideth <\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>Block out specific times for study<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hi! I\u2019m living in a family of three, my wife and my son. As a father, it\u2019s quite challenging for me to focus on my study and take care of my family at the same time. However, I find it more useful when I block a specific time of the day for my study, and a time for taking care of my family.<\/p>\n<p>My wife goes to work in the morning, so I have to make sure that breakfast is ready, take care of my son\u2019s lunch box then drop him off at school. When I get home, I start studying usually between 10 and 3 o\u2019clock. At 3 o\u2019clock, I have to take my son home from school and start making dinner because my wife gets back from work around 6 o\u2019clock.<\/p>\n<p>It is a bit difficult, but it\u2019s manageable. I\u2019ve found that living here \u2013 you know, studying and having your family at the same time together \u2013 is very helpful. There\u2019s a lot of support, especially mental support.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-525\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss4444-300x192.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"192\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss4444-300x192.png 300w, https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss4444.png 470w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Ros Wong<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m a PhD candidate in the college of Business, Government and Law at Flinders. I have four children, all grown up but still very demanding. I became a grandmother recently, so I have a six-week-old granddaughter. I run a small business in a regional town which unfortunately got hit with Covid restrictions, so I have numerous demands that were placed on me prior to Covid, and I think they\u2019ve become more pressing as Covid restrictions have been enforced.<\/p>\n<p>I never thought about how I structured my day when I first went into lockdown with Covid. I just used to bumble along and do whichever airplane I could land first.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-526\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss555-270x300.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"270\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss555-270x300.png 270w, https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss555.png 339w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 270px) 100vw, 270px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>Structure your day<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>After a couple of weeks and it became more long-term, I had to do JobKeeper payments. For that I had to lodge a BASS statement, for that I had to do my tax, and that was snowballing out of control. I had to submit my thesis which was in the final stages, and I was co-authoring a paper, so the demands were becoming quite pressing. Suddenly, I got up one morning and thought, \u2018I really need to do something\u2019, so I decided to pull myself into gear.<\/p>\n<p>I now get up at eight o\u2019clock in the morning, I have my breakfast, work for two or three hours, have lunch, work another two or three hours. If I feel like it, I will work again after four until maybe six or seven. That\u2019s how I structure my day. I make sure I get up at the same time every day.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Keep yourself accountable<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I also make myself accountable. I tell my buddy who I\u2019ve had since honours what I need to achieve for that day, or what I need to achieve for that week, and I make sure that she holds me accountable to that. There\u2019s someone sitting on my left shoulder telling me you can\u2019t just sit and watch TV at three o\u2019clock in the afternoon \u2013 you need to do some work!<\/p>\n<p>But I\u2019m also kind to myself. If I feel like I\u2019ve done enough for the day I switch off the computer, go for a walk with the dog, feed the galahs and hang out some washing.<\/p>\n<p>Basically, structuring your day really helps and setting small goals.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Clara Santilli \u2013 Mature Age Student Officer <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Hi I\u2019m Clara Santilli, the Mature Age Student\u2019s officer for FUSA. Apart from being frightening, mysterious and unknown, and giving you free snacks once a week, what do we do for you? My role is to represent students over 25-years-old. Why do students over 25 need a specific officer? For me, I came back to study my Masters degree at 30. I study part-time and I take one unit at a time, but I found my demands were very different to when I was in my twenties doing an Honours. It was a combination of life experience, energy levels, available resources. It\u2019s a real different lifestyle.<\/p>\n<p>Thinking about when I first started is a real hard place for me to go back to because I remember how isolated I was, how different campus looked, the fact that I had to contend with Flinders Learning Online, and I just didn\u2019t know where I could go to meet people. I wasn\u2019t into the clubs and societies because there was nothing that spoke to me beyond my academic discipline. For me, it was a question of, \u2018how do I find my feet on campus?\u2019<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-medium wp-image-527\" src=\"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss666-300x201.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"201\" srcset=\"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss666-300x201.png 300w, https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/89\/2020\/06\/boss666.png 495w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>What\u2019s Helped? Treating University Like a Job<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m a huge fan of the Horizon Award, you\u2019ve probably seen it around. It\u2019s a service offered by Careers. It\u2019s a free professional development program where you can do classes on things like workplace diversity, which is great if you\u2019re a bit older; workplace communication, which has really helped me keep up with workplace culture; and conflict and negotiation, and I\u2019ve used both of those in the past to take some of the pain out of being a student.<\/p>\n<p>The reason I talk about the Horizon Award is one of the really cool things they said to me is to treat study as if it\u2019s a professional environment. For me, that idea of treating university like a job has been really important in my not being afraid to reach out to services. Id a job, if you\u2019re told to go and do X, Y and Z, but you don\u2019t know how to do Y, you don\u2019t just procrastinate and think, \u2018I can\u2019t do this\u2019. You think, \u2018this is my job, this is what I\u2019m being paid to do\u2019, and you go and find an expert. That\u2019s what Horizon was for me, they\u2019re some of the experts on campus. That\u2019s so important \u2013 being able to reach out not just to your lecturers, but develop those enterprise skills, what we used to call soft skills, that help you negotiate the environment so much better.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Last Words <\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Thank you so much to everyone who shared their stories today. As we start to chart a path back to the \u2018new normal\u2019, things are going to keep changing and it\u2019s important to remain flexible, open and ready to reach out when you need it.<\/p>\n<p>Keep an eye out for updates from Clara about the mature age student collective. It sounds like they have some great ideas for next semester. And, of course, remember the support services that exist here at Flinders are for everyone: there\u2019s Health and Counselling, Oasis, the Student Learning Support Service, and your College supports. We\u2019re all in this together!<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s it for this series of Like a Boss. A huge thank you to all the staff and students who have contributed over the semester and to the Like a Boss team working behind the scenes \u2013 Lydia, Nathan, Steph, Nick, Gareth, Verity and Melissa.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Links and resources<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>If you want to get in touch with Clara and find out more about her role as Mature Age Student Officer and her plans for semester two, you can reach her at <a href=\"mailto:matureage.officer@flinders.edu.au\">matureage.officer@flinders.edu.au<\/a> or check out the <a href=\"https:\/\/fusa.edu.au\/studentcouncil\/\">FUSA site<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>For more about the Horizon Awards, check out the <a href=\"https:\/\/flo.flinders.edu.au\/course\/view.php?id=16355\">Horizon Award FLO page<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>You can find more information about the Oasis <a href=\"https:\/\/oasis.flinders.edu.au\/take-a-break-sessions-with-chaplain-deb-on-tuesdays-2-3\/\">Take a Break Conversation Group<\/a> here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Hi Flinders fam. Guess what? It\u2019s our last Like a Boss episode for the series! We\u2019ve just about made it through the semester \u2013 amazing work [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1350,"featured_media":528,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116,1693,1548,1448],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-521","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all-students","category-like-a-boss","category-student-success","category-student-wellbeing"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/521","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1350"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=521"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/521\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/528"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=521"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=521"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=521"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}