{"id":636,"date":"2020-09-08T13:57:30","date_gmt":"2020-09-08T04:27:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/?p=636"},"modified":"2020-09-09T11:47:19","modified_gmt":"2020-09-09T02:17:19","slug":"like-a-boss-how-do-you-ask-r-u-ok","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/2020\/09\/08\/like-a-boss-how-do-you-ask-r-u-ok\/","title":{"rendered":"Like a Boss: How do you ask\u00a0R U OK?\u00a0\u00a0"},"content":{"rendered":"

Hi Flinders Fam, it\u2019s me Lauren\u00a0<\/span>with another episode of Like a Boss.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Today we\u2019re asking the question R U O<\/span>K<\/span>?\u00a0<\/span>This year, 2020, it\u2019s perhaps<\/span>\u00a0more than ever<\/span>\u00a0to reach out and connect to each other, listen to\u00a0<\/span>each other<\/span>\u00a0and ask\u00a0<\/span>are you\u00a0<\/span>okay<\/span>? Am I okay? Are\u00a0<\/span>we\u00a0<\/span><\/i>okay<\/span>?\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Thursday the 10<\/span>th<\/span>\u00a0September is\u00a0<\/span>R U O<\/span>K<\/span>\u00a0day<\/span><\/a>, a chance to remind ourselves about how we check in on each other.\u00a0<\/span>FUSA and Oasis are holding events<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span>the Student Hub and Plaza<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>from 11-2<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>There\u2019<\/span>ll<\/span>\u00a0be freebies and prizes,\u00a0<\/span>stalls with cupcakes and succulents, and, of course, more information about how to check in and ask someone if they\u2019re okay.\u00a0<\/span>There\u2019ll also be a<\/span>\u00a0panel discussion<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>that you can join online if you\u2019d like to hear from the experts.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Speaking of experts,\u00a0<\/span>I enlisted a few\u00a0form\u00a0around the\u00a0<\/span>uni<\/span>\u00a0\u2013 Gareth Furber from\u00a0<\/span>Health, Counselling and Disability<\/span><\/a>, Tamm<\/span>y<\/span>\u00a0Coleman-Zweck from\u00a0<\/span>Yunggorendi<\/span><\/a>, and Graham\u00a0<\/span>Fordham from the\u00a0<\/span>Flinders Support Network<\/span><\/a>\u00a0\u2013 to find out about how we ask if someone is okay, how we listen, and how we check in, because knowing what to say and<\/span>\u00a0how to act on that information isn\u2019t necessarily as easy as it seems!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n

How do you know if you should ask someone if they\u2019re okay?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gareth<\/span><\/b>:\u00a0<\/span>If you know the person well, you\u2019re probably going to detect it in a change in their behaviour, a change in the way they\u2019re talking, the way they\u2019re describing how their day is. Maybe they seem down, depressed, or anxious. So, you\u2019re looking for a change in what the normal pattern of behaviour is.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t know someone well, there\u2019s no harm in asking someone about their day, the things that they\u2019re working on, how things are going. People usually enjoy and appreciate being asked about their work, so I\u2019d go with those two signs or options.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tammy<\/span><\/b>:\u00a0<\/span>This is\u00a0<\/span>a really interesting<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>question<\/span>\u00a0because it really depends on the person and the circumstances. Sometimes you\u00a0<\/span>do want to follow up with people if you find out that they weren\u2019t feeling very well yesterday, so you want to give them a call or check in on them. But if I\u2019ve got someone who I know is struggling I\u2019m going to follow up on them a little bit more regularly.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you want to know more about how to\u00a0<\/span>recognise the signs that someone might not be okay,\u00a0<\/span>check out the R U Okay Day \u2018Trust the Signs\u2019 resources<\/span><\/a>.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

How do you ask someone if they\u2019re okay?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gareth<\/span><\/b>:<\/span>\u00a0Most people are\u00a0<\/span>actually already<\/span>\u00a0doing this in their lives! So, it\u2019s about asking someone how their day is, if you know different things that they\u2019re working on, ask them about how their projects are going, how are your kids, how\u2019s the family, what\u2019s work like, what good movies have you found recently, or what are you watching at the moment? It doesn\u2019t have to go specifically and immediately into, \u2018are you okay?\u2019 You\u2019re not looking straight off for any kind of distress or problems.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tammy<\/span><\/b>: When you\u2019re checking in on someone, it really depends on the individual.\u00a0<\/span>You know, if<\/span>\u00a0I\u2019m checking in on my brother that\u2019s going to be different to\u00a0<\/span>talking to someone I work with or if I\u2019m talking to my sister or friend that\u2019s going to be different again.\u00a0<\/span>So<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>you\u2019ve got your\u00a0<\/span>own<\/span>\u00a0ways of communicating with people so I would\u00a0<\/span>play to your strengths on that.\u00a0<\/span>If you\u2019ve got friends who like text messages, go for text messages. If you\u2019ve someone who will just go and meet you anytime for coffee, go for that option.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Find out more about\u00a0<\/span>how to ask someone if they\u2019re okay here<\/span><\/a>, including<\/span>\u00a0advice about picking your momen<\/span>t and<\/span>\u00a0some conversation tips<\/span>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How do you listen?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gareth<\/span><\/b>:\u00a0<\/span>We probably overcomplicate this one. One of the best ways to think about listening is that its less about what you should do and more about what you shouldn\u2019t do. Don\u2019t immediately go into advice giving mode, which\u00a0<\/span>the mode I tend to go into! Don\u2019t\u2019 immediately go into describing how you\u2019ve got the same problem that they\u2019ve got or bringing up an episode from your own life.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you do basic counselling courses, you learn things like\u00a0<\/span>reflecting back<\/span>\u00a0what you\u2019ve heard someone say. So<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0if you they tell you about their day and they tell you it was\u00a0<\/span>really stressful<\/span>, you go, \u2018okay so it was stressful, what was that about?\u2019\u00a0<\/span>Ask<\/span>\u00a0additional questions,\u00a0<\/span>inquire,<\/span>\u00a0and learn more information about what they\u2019ve told you. Indicate that you\u2019re listening by giving eye-contact.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Making sure you\u2019re not doing something else, so you\u2019re not looking at your phone or looking off into the distance, your body is orientated towards them, you\u2019re nodding, and responding to the things they\u2019re saying in a way that makes sense.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Tammy<\/span><\/b>: Listening openly is about allowing the person to express what they\u2019re feeling and just being there for them. Sometimes people just want to be able to talk to someone and that social connection is important.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

We all want to feel\u00a0<\/span>socially\u00a0<\/span>connected\u00a0<\/span>somewhere and\u00a0<\/span>have\u00a0<\/span>a sense of belonging. For Aboriginal people, there is connection to land, language, family<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0and culture and I think that\u2019s\u00a0<\/span>really important<\/span>. None of us should feel like an island on our own, and that\u2019s what it\u2019s like for our students at Flinders. Aboriginal students, for example, they\u2019re part of the Yunggorendi community<\/span>,<\/span>\u00a0and for all students at Flinders,\u00a0<\/span>you\u2019re<\/span>\u00a0part of the Flinders community and that\u2019s a pretty special group to belong to.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

How do you check in on someone?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gareth<\/span><\/b>:\u00a0<\/span>In the age that we\u2019re in\u00a0<\/span>at the moment<\/span>, for me it\u2019s a lot of email and chat and text. I\u2019ll know if I haven\u2019t talked to someone in a while, I\u2019ll send them a text, \u2018hey, what are you up to? What\u2019s interesting?\u2019 If it\u2019s someone I know well, they\u2019ll understand what it is I\u2019m asking.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re working with people, a quick knock on the office door and a chat, or the lunchroom. All those opportunities for a chat, take them as much as possible. There\u2019s nothing particularly different in that process nowadays except that most of our check ins will be digital in nature: SMS,\u00a0<\/span>Whatsapp<\/span>, Messenger. Get on there and talk to them.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/span><\/p>\n

Tammy:\u00a0<\/span><\/b>As I said, phone calls and text messages are great \u2013 text messages are great for busy people. For Aboriginal people, health and wellbeing is looked at in a very holistic way, so it\u2019s about caring for yourself, caring for<\/span>\u00a0family, caring for<\/span>\u00a0community,<\/span>\u00a0and<\/span>\u00a0caring for\u00a0<\/span>land as well. And with that comes a whole aspect of things around Aboriginal spirituality and what that looks like.\u00a0So\u00a0<\/span>when we talk about wellbeing, we don\u2019t talk about one thing in isolation, we look at the whole person and look at all\u00a0<\/span>of those important things that sit around that person to support them on their journey in life.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

So those regular phone calls are\u00a0<\/span>really important<\/span>\u00a0to check in on friends and family, making sure that people are okay. And if I feel like maybe they are needing some extra help I\u2019ll say to them, \u2018is there someone else you can speak to like a counsellor, do you think you need that at the moment?\u2019 That\u2019s an opportunity for them to know that they can get some extra help if they need it.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where can we go for help?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Graham: My name is Graham Fordham<\/span>, I\u2019m from the Student Experience Office here at Flinders and my role is a\u00a0<\/span>student support\u00a0<\/span>advisor.\u00a0<\/span>The Flinders Support Network<\/span><\/a>\u00a0has been going since 2018. I\u2019ve been working for the Flinders Support Network for just over a year. The Flinders Support Network is that just in time\u00a0<\/span>phone call for students, or that just in time text messages to help them out with some of the decisions that they might need to make, or who need to reach out for some support but don\u2019t know where to turn. I can recommend the support services that we\u2019ve got<\/span>\u00a0and\u00a0<\/span>know what the support services do, so that I can make the right recommendation.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Another\u00a0<\/span>thing that\u2019s very helpful\u00a0at the moment\u00a0is\u00a0<\/span>the new landing page<\/span><\/a>. It has a\u00a0really great\u00a0resource for the support services that we\u2019ve got: not just the\u00a0<\/span>Student Learning Support Service<\/span><\/a>, not just\u00a0<\/span>Health, Counselling and Disability<\/span><\/a>, it includes a real big range of support services, which can even include\u00a0<\/span>Flinders\u00a0<\/span>Sport<\/span>\u00a0and Fitness<\/span><\/a>. The gym is perfect for stress release or to just take some time out from your study and look after you, because you are the most important part of this puzzle.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Where to from here?<\/span><\/b>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Gareth<\/span><\/b>:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>If you want to know more about some of the stuff I\u2019ve been talking about, the best place to go is the\u00a0<\/span>Student Health and Wellbeing Blog<\/span><\/a>. Subscribe and you\u2019ll get updates from me and Health and Counselling and Disability services\u00a0<\/span>as a whole about<\/span>\u00a0the different events and programs we\u2019re running.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Graham<\/span><\/b>: To get in contact with the\u00a0<\/span>Flinders Support Network<\/span><\/a>, you can type \u2018Flinders Support Network\u2019 into the search bar on the Flinders\u00a0website, or<\/span>\u00a0find it<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>on the current student landing page. It\u2019ll be great to talk to you down the track even if it\u2019s just for some general advice. But I really want to say well done for\u00a0<\/span>all your hard work this year, because it\u2019s been a difficult year. If there\u2019s anything you need, the Flinders Support Network is here for you.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Tammy<\/span><\/b>: Just remember, you are a unique individual,\u00a0<\/span>you belong here, and you matter!<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n


\n<\/span>Thanks so much to Gareth,\u00a0<\/span>Tammy<\/span>\u00a0and Graham for their advice. Remember to check out the links below to get in touch with the Flinders Support Network and to follow the\u00a0<\/span>Flinders Health and Wellbeing Blog.<\/span><\/a>\u00a0Make sure you check out the range of activities happening on campus on Thursday the 10<\/span>th<\/span>\u00a0and check out the panel discussion to see these guys chat even more about this important topic.\u00a0<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Resources<\/span><\/b>:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

R U O<\/span>K<\/span>\u00a0website<\/span>:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>https:\/\/www.ruok.org.au\/<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Flinders Support Network:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>https:\/\/students.flinders.edu.au\/support\/fsn<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Health, Counselling and Disability:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>https:\/\/students.flinders.edu.au\/support\/hcd<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Yunggorendi:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>https:\/\/students.flinders.edu.au\/support\/indigenous-student-support<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Flinders R U Okay Day Event:\u00a0<\/span>https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/events\/316770642969508\/<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Student Learning Support Service:<\/span>\u00a0<\/span>https:\/\/flo.flinders.edu.au\/course\/view.php?id=11825<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Student Health and Wellbeing Blog:\u00a0<\/span>https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-health-and-well-being\/<\/span><\/a>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hi Flinders Fam, it\u2019s me Lauren\u00a0with another episode of Like a Boss.\u00a0\u00a0 Today we\u2019re asking the question R U OK?\u00a0This year, 2020, it\u2019s perhaps\u00a0more than ever\u00a0to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1756,"featured_media":644,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[116,1693,1548,1448],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all-students","category-like-a-boss","category-student-success","category-student-wellbeing"],"post_mailing_queue_ids":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1756"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=636"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/644"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.flinders.edu.au\/student-news\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}