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With the end of 2024 in sight, I ponder something a little outside the usual content. In this post, I explore the potential value in seeing one’s life as a story and taking specific action to be an active storyteller in it. It is on the abstract side and is intended to stimulate thought and reflection, as opposed to being a specific ‘to-do’ instruction for wellbeing.

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Introduction

My job is to talk about mental health in various ways so that we, as individuals and as a community, can better look after our wellbeing. A key part of this involves telling stories—whether it’s the story of how I came to be talking about mental health in the first place or the stories of research exploring how we care for our mental health.

For example, in the Good Vibes Experiment, we told the story of evidence-based daily activities that can bring the emotional experiences we want into our lives. One important insight from this story was that good mental health isn’t just about reducing negative emotions like stress but also about enhancing and nurturing positive ones.

But my role isn’t just about sharing mental health-related stories. It’s also about inviting people to see their own life as a story that is unfolding in real time and over which they have some agency and then provide some relevant tools and guidance on the process.

 

The Value of Story as a Metaphor for Life

What do I mean by the idea of seeing our lives as a story?

Let’s start with the definition of a “story.” A story is a structured account of events, experiences, or actions, often with a beginning, middle, and end, that conveys meaning or insight. At its core, a story connects characters, actions, and outcomes in a way that helps make sense of experiences. It allows us to reflect on the past, understand the present, and anticipate the future (thanks, ChatGPT).

It isn’t hard, therefore, to conceptualize one’s life as a story (or set of interconnected stories, plural).

Your life can be seen as an unfolding set of events, experiences, and actions. Your birth, upbringing and history could be considered the “beginning.” Your current experiences are the “middle.” And—though it may not be a comforting thought—there will inevitably be an “end.” Your life is full of characters (yourself and those around you), actions (the choices you make), and outcomes (the consequences of those actions). Depending on how you approach and tell this story, it can be rich with meaning and insights. I was a bit of a shy and sick kid, which got in the way of making friends. On the plus side, it meant I got quite good at pursuing interests on my own. But it also meant a sense of loneliness as I got older. Knowing that, I am more deliberate about trying to cultivate and nurture friendships now, even if I am a bit clunky at it.

When you reflect on your past—your formative experiences, relationships, and turning points—you begin to see how they shaped who you are today. When you pay attention to your ongoing experiences and choices, you can observe how they are influenced by both your past and your aspirations for the future. Imagining where your story might lead can open up new possibilities and directions.

Even what might seem like the most “ordinary” life is filled with conflict (challenges, setbacks, difficult emotions), resolution (moments of clarity, healing, or progress), and growth (the development of new skills, insights, or changes in perspective). Moreover, your life is intricately intertwined with the world around you. Your story is influenced by your environment, relationships, culture, and the broader society.

But here’s an important point: stories aren’t just passive accounts of what’s happened to us. In fact, we are active participants in shaping our stories. Each moment presents a choice about how we engage with life, and these choices determine how the next chapters unfold. Even though we don’t have control over everything, we do have agency in how we respond to events and how we choose to interpret them. This is what can make the storytelling process empowering—it allows us to take ownership of our lives and actively shape our future narrative.

Human lives are inherently “storyable” (yes, I made up that word), and we see this in how often we tell and watch stories about people’s lives in books, TV shows, and movies. These stories help us understand the complexity of others’ experiences, and, in turn, give us insights into our own. We’re invited to see our own life as a story by observing and learning from the storied lives of others.

In essence, viewing your life as a story (or set of stories) that is/are unfolding in real-time encourages reflection, provides a sense of coherence, and can empower you to take an active role in writing your future chapters. The stories are being told, whether or not we’re tuned into them. But by tuning in, we gain a sense of agency over how we engage with life, and that agency can be empowering.

 

Turning Your Life into a Story: Practical Steps

If you decide to take the journalling route

Earlier in 2024, a colleague (Grace) and I developed and delivered a Writing for Wellbeing workshop (which we will be delivering again in 2025). In that workshop we discuss some of the history of writing being used for wellbeing purposes. Journaling is one of the methods discussed and is a great and accessible way to tell parts of your story. Journaling is often easier with some prompts to get you started.

So, here’s a set of journaling prompts to help you engage with different areas of your life story. These prompts encourage reflection on various dimensions of life, not just physical and mental health but also broader aspects like relationships, purpose, and growth. They can help guide a person toward a more nuanced and detailed understanding of their own life story.

To be clear, there is nothing magical about these specific prompts. They are simply to help you transition into the writing and reflection process, which is where the real value comes from.

 

Physical Health

1. “What is one significant moment in my life that has shaped how I think about my body or physical health?”
2. “How do I feel about my body today, and what stories do I tell myself about its strengths and limitations?”
3. “What is one small action I could take today that would change the story of my physical health for the better?”

Mental Health

1. “What are some of the recurring emotions or mental patterns in my life, and where do they come from?”
2. “What beliefs or stories do I tell myself about my mental health?”
3. “How do I want to rewrite my mental health story moving forward?”

Relationships

1. “Who are the key characters in my life story, and how have they influenced the way I see myself?”
2. “What is one relationship that has shaped my life in a profound way?”
3. “What patterns in my relationships have I noticed, and how might I want to rewrite those patterns?”

Career and Purpose

1. “What pivotal moments have shaped my career or sense of purpose?”
2. “How does my current work align (or not align) with the story I want to tell about my life?”
3. “What is one future chapter I envision for my career or purpose, and what steps can I take toward that chapter?”

Personal Growth

1. “What is a past challenge that has led to significant personal growth?”
2. “What stories am I telling myself about my limitations, and are they true?”
3. “What is one area of my life where I could push for growth, and how would that change my story?”

Hobbies and Passions

1. “What hobbies or passions have played an important role in my life story?”
2. “What activities make me feel most alive, and how do I want to prioritize them moving forward?”
3. “How can I integrate more joy and passion into the story I am writing for myself?”

 

Empowerment or paralysis

As I was putting this post together, I came across an article on a site I really like, Psyche, titled “Your Life is Not a Story: Why Narrative Thinking Holds You Back.”

My initial reaction was, “Oh shit, does this negate everything I’ve said above?” But after reading it, I realized it highlighted some potential limitations of viewing life as a story—and some traps we might fall into if we’re not careful.

How do we know if framing our life as a story is genuinely helping us, or if it’s actually holding us back?

One sign that storytelling is helpful is a sense of empowerment. This feeling comes from a sense of agency: the belief that you have some control over how different aspects of your life unfold and that you’re actively shaping your path forward.

For example, after a few weeks of journaling, you might notice that you’re starting to understand yourself better. This new awareness might lead to small but meaningful changes in how you approach situations, helping you make choices that bring more positivity and growth into your life. Here, storytelling has proven beneficial.

However, there’s a flip side: storytelling can sometimes lead to paralysis. When we over-commit to a specific narrative, we may oversimplify our experiences or see ourselves through a fixed lens, fitting every experience into a preconceived story that no longer serves us well. Parts of our story can start to sound something like ‘this is just who I am’ or ‘that is how it is always going to be with me’.

Instead of making us feel more empowered, this rigidity can make us less adaptable to life’s unpredictability. We get stuck in roles that limit our growth, leading us to feel trapped rather than hopeful.

For example, in examining different parts of your life story, you may notice that you often play the role of “caretaker.” Over time, you start to define yourself solely as “the strong one” or “the person who helps others,” and this label might stop you from seeking help when you truly need it. What started as a positive story element becomes a box that limits you, a role you feel you must play rather than an empowering aspect of your identity.

If you find yourself in this situation, it may be time to adjust your storytelling approach—or even put it aside for a while.

Consider the following adjustments:

• Get feedback from others: Share your story with trusted friends, family, or a counsellor who can offer different perspectives. They might help you see aspects of yourself you’ve missed or challenge labels you’ve been carrying unnecessarily.
• Change your perspective: Imagine how someone else—perhaps a close friend—might describe your story. How would they write your next chapter? Sometimes, an outside perspective can help us see new possibilities.
• Shift the level of your story: Try exploring your experiences from another angle, whether that’s biological, social, psychological, or cultural. This shift might uncover fresh insights and break the cycle of repetitive narratives.
• Learn from others’ stories: Reading biographies or listening to others’ stories can be eye-opening. It’s often inspiring to see how others have navigated periods of feeling “stuck” and moved forward.

And if none of this feels right, it’s okay to step back from storytelling altogether. Life offers countless paths to personal growth and wellbeing and it is OK to abandon a practice if it isn’t producing shifts in a positive direction.

 

Conclusion

Our lives are beautifully complex, woven together from interacting threads of biology, psychology, relationships, culture, and countless other influences.

Viewing life as a story can be a helpful tool for organizing, reflecting on, and making sense of this complexity. Each of us carries not just one story but many: stories of health, career, relationships, hobbies, and so on. And by viewing these aspects of our lives through the lens of story, we gain the chance to better understand them—and take meaningful action within them.

The process of life storytelling involves a few essential steps: being open to seeing life as a collection of stories, capturing those stories in some way, and reflecting on them to gain insight for the future.

While storytelling can be empowering, it can also be limiting if we cling too rigidly to certain narratives. Stories help us make sense of our lives, but they can also narrow our view of the present, causing us to miss the richness and unpredictability of each moment. It’s a balance of honouring our past stories while staying open to new interpretations and possibilities.

Remember, your story is still unfolding. You may not control every event, but you do have agency over how you respond to what happens. Much like in a “Choose Your Own Adventure” book (which were part of my childhood), each decision opens up new paths and outcomes. This sense of agency—of being able to influence the chapters ahead—is central to a healthy, evolving life story.

Throughout your journey, others will contribute to your story too. Their advice, interactions, and support will shape the story you’re telling. We aren’t the sole authors of our destiny, but by staying curious, open, and engaged, we can continue to shape our narrative in ways that bring growth and meaning.

If you’ve used storytelling to understand aspects of your life or have other reflections on this approach, I’d love to hear about your experiences.

 

A note about how this post was put together….

I’ll be writing a post soon about how I use chatGPT nowadays in my work, but I wanted to say a few things about it here, given that this is one of the longest form articles I have written in a while and chatGPT was central to its creation.

This post was put together with ChatGPT 4o. What started with an initial brain dump of ideas about this article into chatGPT turned into a pretty long conversation over a couple of weeks about what I was trying to say, how I wanted to say it, recommendations from ChatGPT about different exercises and activities, editing and writing requests, sharing drafts and lots more.

The end result is an article that has a lot of input from chatGPT. In fact, large sections of this article are taken from chatGPT’s attempts to answer my questions, organise my thoughts and find the most succinct way to describe something.

I’ll admit that this is a strange and new experience for me. I have been finding it much easier to write recently when I am in conversation with a Large Language Model (LLM) like chatGPT. But this raises the obvious question of ‘is it my work?’. What I think it is fair to say, at least for this article, is that the ideas and overall story (excuse the pun) are mine whilst the expression of those ideas is chatGPT’s. My feelings about this are mixed. On the plus side, the collaborative process has helped me write on a topic that I think I would have struggled with otherwise. What was a swirl of seemingly unrelated ideas in my head, have been organised in a way that I could communicate them to you. On the downside, I feel like a bit of a fraud.

My, and our journeys with AI systems like chatGPT are just beginning and I suspect those journeys are going to be creative, bumpy, confusing, exhilarating, frustrating, and much more. I’m keen to see how that story unfolds and take you behind the curtain as I do.